


Ghost Story

by BeccaAnne814



Series: Bucky Barnes x Reader Series [5]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Guns, Knives, Violence, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21629899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaAnne814/pseuds/BeccaAnne814
Summary: You were captured by Zola in 1944 and injected with a version of the serum.  With the help of Peggy Carter, you go off the grid until the discovery of Steve Rogers in the Arctic pulls you back into the limelight.  Determined to leave the hero life behind you, you help Steve adjust to the 21st Century, but then the unthinkable happens.  What will you do once you discover the love of your life is also alive?
Relationships: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Series: Bucky Barnes x Reader Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/774297
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Ghost Story

**Bucky Barnes x Reader**

**Summary** – You were captured by Zola in 1944 and injected with a version of the serum. With the help of Peggy Carter, you go off the grid until the discovery of Steve Rogers in the Arctic pulls you back into the limelight. Determined to leave the hero life behind you, you help Steve adjust to the 21st Century, but then the unthinkable happens. What will you do once you discover the love of your life is also alive?

**Warnings** – Angst, Violence, Guns, Knives, Fluff…probably a curse word or two

**Word Count** – 14.2K

**Notes **\- Parts 1 - 13 of 13

** _**Updated December 1, 2019**_ **

_ ** _ ** [Masterlist](https://beccaanne814.tumblr.com/post/174989754188/masterlist) ** _  
** _

[[MORE]]

"She's awake."

YN heard the voice through the haze of disorientation that clouded her mind. As her vision slowly started to focus, she struggled to make sense of what was going on around her. 

The last clear memory she had was of fighting next to Bucky and Steve in Austria. They'd pinned down Schmidt and Zola. . .

Zola.

As though a switch had been flipped, her mind suddenly became clear and she knew exactly what had happened to her. The details may have still been a bit fuzzy, but she'd finally been able to place where she knew that voice from.

"Begin prepping the serum," Zola said as he stared down into YN's rage-filled eyes as she lay immobile on the exam table before him. "I've never had the opportunity to test my concoction out on a female—you'll be making history today, Fräulein."

Zola's eyes were as beady as a rodents—in fact, everything about his countenance was rodent-like. YN had hated him for years even though this was the first time she'd ever truly met the mad scientist. She'd heard enough from Steve once he'd returned to base camp after disobeying orders to lead a rescue mission for the soldiers of the 107th. That's when she'd first met Bucky.

Bucky.

Just the thought of the blue-eyed charmer from Brooklyn had her heart lifting. She wasn't sure how she hadn't noticed him before he came strutting back to camp with Captain America, but one look at the beaten and almost-broken man had sealed her fate. Thankfully he'd felt the same.

"Are you with us, Fräulein?" Zola inquired as he placed two fingers along the inside of her wrist to check her pulse.

She was brought back to the present when Zola's assistant—a man with a large red birthmark along the side of his face—brought over a syringe filled with a bright blue liquid.

"Thank you, Hans," Zola said to the man with a twisted smile on his face.

"Do you have any idea of the hell you're going to pay for this?" YN asked, drawing the doctor's attention back down to her.

"You think I concern myself with the ethical nature of my experiments?" Zola asked, his face contorting into a sneer.

"Ethics is the least of your worries," she said as a devious smile spread across her face. "You do know who I am, don't you?"

"You're nothing more than a secretary for the American Army," he said, completely dismissing her. 

She had to give him credit—somehow he'd gotten ahold of military records, but they were old. She may have been Colonel Phillips' secretary once upon a time, but that was before Agent Carter had taken her under her wing and brought her on as a member of the Howling Commandoes. 

YN had been all too willing to leave behind her desk and filing cabinet for a spot on the front lines—and it may have had something to do with the dark-haired New Yorker that she'd been sneaking off to see in the middle of the night. 

Bucky had had mixed feelings about her joining the Howlies, but in the end, spending more time with her had outweighed his misgivings. It also hadn't hurt that Peggy was an excellent teacher and within a couple of weeks had taught YN a few moves that had even impressed the Captain.

She started to make a snappy retort, but the ground shifting beneath her had her breath catching in her throat. Staring up at Zola, she furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Ah," he said with a chuckle. "You thought you might have a chance to escape. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you—that won't be an option this time."

YN tuned out Zola's incessant chatter and focused on the sounds around her. She'd been stupid to have dropped her guard for even a moment. As she strained to place the noises, the ground beneath her shifted again and it suddenly became clear to her.

They were on a train.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, earning her an appreciative smile from Zola.

"You're a smart one, Fräulein," Zola observed as he began to place the needle of the syringe against the crook of her arm. "I prefer the more intelligent test subjects—they respond the best to the serum. This is going to hurt."

YN instantly felt a pain unlike any other she'd ever experienced, but she clamped her teeth together as hard as she could. She knew he wanted to hear her scream and she'd be damned if she gave him the satisfaction. As the blue substance burned its way through her veins, she struggled to stay conscious.

"Stop him. Fire again."

She heard the words Zola spoke, but they didn't immediately make sense to her. Craning her neck, she saw him leaning down to speak into a microphone and saw a monitor. She only caught a glimpse, but there was no mistaking the shield that had briefly flashed across the screen.

A smile began to form on her pain-contorted face. "I told you there'd be hell to pay."

With a look of shock, Zola turned to stare at her. "Who are you?"

"Why don't we just wait a bit," she said with a snarky sneer. "I'm sure Captain America will be all too happy to fill you in on the particulars."

A fresh wave a pain coursed through her, and she fought the overwhelming urge to give in to the blackness that creeped along the edges of her vision. Steve was here, and that meant Bucky was as well —she just had to hold on a few moments longer.

"The man on the bridge," the Soldier said with a confused look on his face. "Who was he?"

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment."

He tried to reconcile this new information with the fragments of memories that had just played through his mind. "I knew him—I knew her."

__________________

YN had lost both Bucky and Steve so quickly—so violently—that the pain of the loss had almost broken her completely. Peggy had tried to explain that her heightened emotions were most likely due to the serum coursing through her veins, but YN knew better. Losing the two people that meant the most to her would've have been devastating regardless of whatever drug Zola had given her.

She'd sworn Peggy to secrecy about the serum and the feisty Brit had reluctantly agreed to help YN go into hiding. YN wanted nothing more than to live out the rest of her life in peace, but she knew if the government—any government—found out what she was that she'd never have a moments rest. 

It hadn't been until Peggy had sought her out years later that she realized her old friend had begun to age while she'd stayed exactly the same. Upon seeing her youthful beauty, Peggy had immediately known that it was a side effect of the serum. How long YN would live was anyone's guess, but both women knew that any chance of her joining S.H.I.E.L.D.—in any capacity—was out of the question.

When Steve had been discovered in the Arctic almost seventy years after he'd stupidly crashed the plane, YN had sought out Director Fury and explained who she was. He'd been skeptical at first, but Peggy—on one of her more lucid days—had confirmed the truth to the dubious man. 

YN had warned him that she wanted nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. Her only hope was to help Steve adjust to the new world he'd been thrust into, but she'd forgotten how persuasive Steve Rogers could be. Before she knew it, she'd become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s newest supersoldier alongside Captain America.

It was because of her close relationship with Steve that she'd also been targeted by HYDRA after the failed attempt on Director Fury's life. Being on the run with him, Sam, and Natasha had brought back memories of her time with the Howling Commandos. She'd had no idea how close that memory was to the truth until Steve had pulled the mask from the Winter Soldier's face.

Neither one of them had had the luxury of rational thought in that moment because while they knew the man staring back at them—he had no idea who they were. Thankfully, Nat had been there to save their asses because the Soldier was on a mission and he didn't seem ready to admit defeat just yet.

It had been two against two when she and Steve had suggested that Bucky might still be buried somewhere within the mind of the Soldier, but even they'd had to admit that their mission needed to come first. Helping Bucky wouldn't be an option unless they succeeded in stopping HYDRA before Project Insight could be fully realized. But neither one of them were sure how they were going to do both when they knew that Alexander Pierce would be sending the Soldier to do everything in his power to stop them.

She'd seen Steve fall from the helicarrier and had rushed to the river as fast as her battered body would allow. When she finally reached the shoreline, she'd stopped dead in her tracks. Looking as bad as she felt was Steve lying unconscious on the beach, but it wasn't his broken and bruised body that had caused her to draw up short.

It was him.

The Soldier.

Bucky.

Her Bucky.

He glanced over at her, and she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Guilt washed over her yet again as she thought of all the years she'd spend happily living her life while he'd been tortured and abused by HYDRA. She couldn't help but think that she should have tried harder to find his body. She should have never given up hope. Maybe if she'd just kept looking she might have been able to rescue him—to save him from the decades of pain he'd been forced to endure.

She stood perfectly still as she waited to see what he would do. The last time they'd met, he'd tried to kill her, so she wasn't too hopeful that this encounter would fare any better.

When he began to move towards her, she stiffened. His right arm was obviously dislocated, but she could hear the mechanisms of his metal arm whirring softly which meant it was perfectly operational. Judging from the state Steve was in, she knew that even with the serum coursing through her veins, Bucky—no, the Soldier—could kill her with one flick of his mechanical wrist.

Seeing him look so cold—so distant—was breaking her heart all over again. As he drew up right in front of her, she knew she should try to defend herself, but she just couldn't work up the will to survive as she stared into the eyes that she'd longed to see once more. Steve would chastise her for being so willing to give up, but he was most likely dead himself, and she wasn't sure she could survive losing them both all over again.

As his hand rose, she closed her eyes and waited for the death blow. She just hoped it would come quickly—she'd suffered enough already. Tears—hot and wet—flowed down her cheeks unhindered as her breath caught in her throat. 

When she felt the cool metal gently brush the moisture from her cheek, her eyes shot open in surprise. What had once been emptiness in his eyes was now replaced with pain and sorrow. Searching the blue-grey depths that she'd once loved more than life itself, she saw something spark. 

"YN?"

A ragged sob tore through her as the freshly flowing tears began to cloud her vision. She was desperately trying to find her voice to speak to him, but her throat had begun to close up from the strain the onslaught of emotions was having on her.

Steve coughed and her gaze automatically turned to him. She offered a silent prayer that he was somehow still alive. She knew she should go to him, but she wasn't ready to leave Bucky just yet.

Turning back, she was shocked to find that he was gone. Turing a full circle, she frantically tried to figure out how he'd disappeared so quickly. 

With a sigh of regret she dropped her head. He truly was the Ghost HYDRA had spent so many years creating.

Steve, Sam, and YN stood with Director Fury looking down at the brand new tombstone that had Fury's name carved into the smooth gray granite.

"Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me, right here," Fury said as he shook their hands and took his leave.

"You should be honored," Nat said as she walked toward the group of them surrounding the gravesite. "That's about as close as he gets to saying thank you."

"Not going with him?" Steve asked as he left Sam and YN to meet her halfway.

Nat shook her head with a smile. "No."

"Not staying here," Steve said, phrasing the words as a statement rather than a question.

Nat turned and looked away from her friend. "Nah. I blew all my covers. I got to figure out a new one."

"That might take a while."

"I'm counting on it." She paused for a moment before handing him the file she'd been holding. "That thing you asked for. I called in a few favors from Kiev."

Steve took the file just as YN walked over. She had a feeling she knew what was in that folder, but she wasn't sure she was ready to learn the entire truth.

"Be careful, guys," Nat warned as she began to walk away. "You might not want to pull on that thread."

YN took the file from Steve and flipped open the cover. Inside were dozens of documents, and not many of them looked to be new.

"How long?" YN asked Nat's retreating back.

The redhead stopped and turned around to look at YN questioningly.

"I'll ask again," YN said, her voice laced with warning. "How long?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Steve looked from one woman to the next, but he had no clue what they were talking about.

"You said he was a ghost story," YN reminded her. "You just forgot to mention that he was your ghost story."

"YN," Nat said pleadingly.

YN held up a hand to cut her off. "How long have you known that Bucky was the Winter Soldier?"

Steve inhaled sharply as he turned to stare accusingly at Nat. The sudden change in attitudes had Sam walking over to help try to diffuse the situation.

"I didn't know," Nat said as she held up her in a non-threatening gesture. "I found out the same way you guys did."

"But you didn't tell us?" Steve asked as his brow furrowed.

"He didn't just shoot you on that op," Sam surmised as his eyes grew wide.

Nat took a deep breath and hung her head. "He trained me in the Red Room, but I swear I had no idea he was Bucky—your Bucky. I only ever knew him as James. . ."

"That's not all," YN accused as she reached out to grab the other woman's arm. "Quit lying to us, Natasha."

Nat's gaze rose to meet YN's and there was fire in her green eyes. "I loved him."

YN gasped as she dropped Nat's arm and took a step back.

Steve didn't know what to do. This was a curveball he hadn't been expecting, and he was at a loss to how he was supposed to handle it.

"But he doesn't remember you?" Sam asked Nat hesitantly.

"He remembers me," YN said with confidence. "He remembers Steve." She took a deep breath and lifted her face to the sky for a moment. "It stands to reason that he'll eventually remember you as well."

"He never loved me," Nat said as she reached out to YN. "Not like that. I was a little sister to him—that's all."

YN felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Could she really be angry at Bucky for finding someone else? He'd had his memories stripped away from him, so he wouldn't have remembered her. And even if he had, by the time he'd met Nat, he would've thought YN long dead.

"Do you still love him?" YN asked softly.

"I do," Nat admitted with a sigh. "But I won't stand in the way."

"Thank you," YN said after a few moments.

"You don't have to thank me. It's the right thing to do."

"That's not what I meant."

It was Nat's turn to look confused.

"Thank you for being there for him when I couldn't be." YN looked down at the file in her hands. "I can't even begin to imagine the horrors he's faced over the past seventy years, but I know what a good friend you've been to me and Steve, so I know you were a good friend to him as well." She took a shaky breath as she tried to get her emotions back in check. "It's a comfort to know that he had someone that loved him."

Nat nodded her head and without another word, slipped through the trees and disappeared. YN let her go and looked down the photos clipped to the front of the folder. Running her fingers over the familiar curve of his jaw, she swore to herself that she'd find Bucky and bring him back home to her.

Sam looked from YN to Steve. "You're going after him."

"You don't have to come with us," Steve reminded him as YN snapped the folder shut and looked up to meet Sam's gaze.

"I know," Sam said with a nod. "When do we start?"

He was lost.

He was confused.

He'd never felt like this before—or at least he couldn't recall ever feeling like this before.

The mission hadn't gone as planned and he'd failed to neutralize his target. Then the man on the bridge had said a name. Was it his name? Did he even have a name?

As the doctor fixed his arm where the woman had shorted out some of the circuits, he was overcome with scenes that didn't make any sense to him. Were they memories?

There was a short, stocky man with wire-rimmed glasses and a blue lab coat. The snow was falling through the trees around him as he said a name—Sergeant Barnes.

The scene shifted and suddenly he was on a train, but he wasn't really. He could feel the bite of the wind as it rushed past him and he knew that somehow he was outside of the train. The man from the bridge was there calling out the name he'd said earlier. 

Bucky.

Was he Bucky, or was he Sergeant Barnes? Could he somehow be both?

He felt his hand slip and he began to fall from the train. He heard a scream, and for a moment he thought it was the man still on the train, but then he realized that he was the one screaming.

The scene shifted again and he was looking up at a man in a military uniform. He was dragging him through the snow leaving a trail of blood in their wake from where part of his arm was missing.

He heard the weasel-like man speaking again. "The procedure has already started." Then there was pain. The most intense and excruciating pain he could remember experiencing. The bone saw bit into his skin as the doctor began severing what was left of his arm.

His breathing became ragged as the sensations started to overwhelm him. The combination of pain—both from the memories resurfacing and the memories themselves—and the disorientation was something he didn't know how to handle. But it wasn't until he remembered seeing the metal monstrosity they'd brutally attached to his body that he finally realized these were actually his memories.

He heard the accented voice speaking one last time as he remembered choking the life out of one of the doctors. "You will be the new fist of HYDRA." The doctor in the blue coat was smiling down at him as though he was proud of what he'd created.

When he saw his own reflection in the glass of the cryo chamber and heard, "Put him on ice," he finally snapped. Lashing out, he knocked the doctor working on his arm across the room. Immediately the sound of a half dozen guns cocking filled the suddenly quiet room. He knew better than to continue his tirade and instead sat motionless as he tried to process what had happened to him.

________________________

As he walked away from the river where he'd left the only two people who might hold the answers to his past, he couldn't help but think they were better off without him. Memories of both the man and the woman were starting to come back, but they were jumbled and mixed together. Emotions and pain were clouding his judgement and he knew he needed to get away. He needed time to heal his wounds and figure out who he was.

The memories he was reliving weren't really his. It was like a film reel in his mind of someone else's life, but deep down, he knew it was his own. Those people on the river bank had known him. They'd known him before he'd become a monster. He might not know a lot about who he was, but he knew that much. 

He was a monster.

He was the monster they'd created him to be.

But no longer.

He had no idea who he was, but he was done taking orders from anyone. He might not be Bucky, or Sergeant Barnes, or even James Buchanan Barnes anymore, but he'd eventually figure it out. And it would be on his terms.

______________________

The protocols they'd beaten into him had served him well over the years. He'd managed to make it across the Atlantic without being apprehended, but he was always on guard. He could only hope they'd stop looking for him, but he knew it would never happen. He'd done too much—had caused to much chaos—for them to just let him be.

His memories were still a mess, but he was slowly starting to sort them out. Every morning, he'd awaken with a new set of images floating around in his head and he'd immediately start writing them all down. He had no way of knowing what was real and what was a figment of his imagination, but he was trying. For the most part, he didn't really care what was real or not, but there were some dreams he hoped were.

The dreams of her.

He didn't dream about her every night, but when he did, it was like being transported to a different universe. Her smile was as warm as the sun shining down on him, and as he held her in his arms, the scent of her filled his senses. She was the bright spot in his otherwise dark existence, and a part of him yearned to see her again. He wanted to hold her in his arms to see if she was as soft as he remembered—if her gentle touch would still feel the same on his skin.

When he saw his picture on the front of the paper, all his hopes of ever seeing her again vanished in an instant. They'd finally caught up to him, and he knew if he was lucky enough to evade them, he'd never find peace.

But then again, did he even deserve it?

Sam walked into Steve's office to find the Captain and YN looking at him hopefully. He hated to bring them bad news yet again, but that's all he seemed to be capable of these days. "Another false lead."

YN sighed and closed her eyes dejectedly as she sat perched on the edge of Steve's desk. Steve laid a hand on her shoulder as his eyes too bore traces of sadness.

"Something will come up," Steve said to no one in particular.

"We've been searching for years, Steve," YN murmured. "Sometimes I wonder if he really is a ghost. Maybe we just imagined the whole thing."

"Oh, no," Sam added with his usual snark. "He's real. Trust me. Dude tried to kill me not once, but multiple times during that mess in D.C. That's not something your imagination just makes up."

"He wasn't himself," YN said to Sam. "If you'd met him before, you'd know that man—that monster that HYDRA created—that's not Bucky."

"Maybe it's time we gave up, YN," Steve offered quietly. "He obviously doesn't want to be found."

YN shook her head vigorously. "No. I refuse to give up. He knew me, Steve—he called me by name. He's lost and he's alone and he needs our help." She was on the verge of tears, but she powered through it. "Would he give up on you?"

She could tell from the way Steve's shoulders dropped that she'd hit the nerve she'd been aiming for. It was a low blow, but one she knew would produce the results she was looking for. As long as Bucky was out there, she'd keep looking. She owed him that—they both did. If they'd only kept looking back in 1944, none of this would've happened, so the least they could do would be to not give up on Bucky again this time.

But that was easier said than done. Bucky had been trained by an organization that had managed to stay hidden in plain sight for over seventy years. As long as he wanted to stay off the radar, he would. 

And he'd managed to do just that until someone had decided to take matters into their own hands and flush him out in ways YN and Steve would've never dreamed of doing. 

YN had refused to believe the man on the surveillance camera planting the bomb at the UN was Bucky. Sam didn't seem too convinced, but Steve was willing to consider her reasons.

"That man isn't Bucky," she said with barely contained anger. "For one, he wouldn't be stupid enough to get caught on camera. And two, that man isn't the right build. I don't know who that is, but it's not James Buchanan Barnes."

"YN," Sam began, but Steve cut him off.

"She has a point, Sam. We haven't seen even a hint of him in two years, and FRIDAY's been running facial recognition all over the world."

"Something's off about this whole thing," YN said worriedly.

By the time they'd figured out what was going on, it had been too late. Zemo had used the trigger words and the Soldier had been set loose on the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre. The casualties were in the double digits, and Agent Ross was out for blood. Steve had been able to stop the Soldier from getting away, but not before he'd taken them both over the side of the building in a helicopter.

YN had immediately gone to find Sam, and the two of them had slipped away in the midst of all the chaos. They weren't sure where Steve was, but they knew he'd do everything in his power to make sure the authorities didn't get their hands on Bucky again. Right now, the only people they could trust were themselves.

Steve had managed to get word to them that he was safe and he had Bucky in a secure location. Sneaking across town when all of Berlin was on the hunt for them wasn't easy, but they'd made it without picking up a tail. But as YN, Steve, and Sam stood looking down at the man who'd used to be Bucky Barnes, they were all wondering the same thing. What now?

_He wasn't sure where he was at first, but when he saw the headlights coming down the deserted road, a sinking feeling in his gut reminded him of what would be happening next._

_"You remember, don't you?" Tony asked as he leaned back against a tree and glared at the man standing frozen on the side of the road._

_"I remember them all," Bucky replied hoarsely as he dropped his head. _

_"Don't look away now. The best part's yet to come." Tony straightened and walked over to stand beside Bucky._

_Bucky heard the sound of the motorcycle as it sped toward the car, and although he couldn't see it just yet, he knew exactly who was riding it. Watching a version of himself that he'd struggled to come to terms with for years calmly aim the gun and shoot out the tire of the car caused something within to start to break._

_"Dad never stood a chance, did he?" Tony asked bitterly. "There's a part of me that almost wished they'd died on impact."_

_"I'm sorry. . ."_

_"I don't want your damn apology," Tony snarled. "I want my parents back." He moved so that he was standing right in front of Bucky. "Can you do that? Can you bring them back?"_

_Bucky shook his head as the first tear began streaking down his face. "I can't bring any of them back."_

_"That's right," Tony agreed. "They're all gone because of you."_

_The roar of the motorcycle grew louder as the Soldier returned to the crash site to complete his mission. Bucky looked up in horror as he realized he would be forced to watch this scene play out again. And again, he'd be powerless to stop it._

_He stood frozen as the Soldier forced open the trunk and checked to make sure the samples of the serum were still intact._

_"I've always wondered what would've happened if the U.S. government had gotten ahold of the serum," Tony mused aloud, more to himself than to Bucky. "Just think about it—five supersoldiers just like Rogers. Damn, that would've been a game-changer."_

_Bucky was silent as he watched the Soldier—the man who looked like him, but wasn't—turn at the sound of Howard's voice._

_Howard had crawled out of the wreckage and was coming toward the Soldier. "Help my wife. Please. Help."_

_Tony walked over and crouched down next to his father. "I've hated my old man for as long as I can remember, but this—this moment right here—changed everything for me. His first thought. . .his only thought. . .was for my mom."_

_"Tony. . ."_

_Bucky's words were cut short when the Soldier reached down and grabbed Howard by his hair. The look of shock on the older man's features was impossible to ignore._

_"Sergeant Barnes?"_

_"It didn't even faze you, did it?" Tony asked. "He called you by name, but you weren't Sergeant Barnes anymore, were you?"_

_"HYDRA," Bucky began as he shook his head. "They wiped it all out. There was nothing left of me in there."_

_"No," Tony agreed as he turned to look into the car where his mother sat stunned with blood running down her face. "They created the perfect killing machine."_

_"Howard?" Maria called out in a panic._

_The Soldier ended Howard's life with two quick blows to the face. Maria was starting to sound frantic, but the assassin didn't notice. He dragged Howard's limp body back to the car and arranged him so it would look as though the impact had killed him instantly._

_"This is the part that gets me every time," Tony said as he leaned down by his father's dead body and looked in at his mother. "You never even bothered to look at her."_

_"It wasn't me. . ."_

_"But wasn't it?" a voice asked from the shadows. "That's what you told me on the Quinjet."_

_Bucky turned away from the Soldier strangling Maria to see Steve walking out of the shadows. That wasn't right, though. Why was he here?_

_"I told you it wasn't you, but you disagreed," Steve reminded him. "You remember, don't you? 'I still did it.' Those were your exact words."_

_Tony rose to walk over to Steve. "See, even your best friend knows the truth. You're not worth saving, Barnes."_

_"They're right, you know," another voice said from behind Bucky. He turned and was shocked to see YN walking toward him from the wreckage of the car. "There's nothing left of the man I once loved. The world would be better off without you in it."_

_As the tears streamed down his face, his vision began to blur. They were right—they were all right. He was nothing more than a monster. He'd killed all those people and had done nothing to try to stop himself from being controlled by HYDRA. Death would be too good for him—he deserved to suffer the same way he'd caused so many other people to suffer._

_The sound of gun shots startled him and he turned to watch the Soldier destroy the camera and calmly gather the case before firing the bike back to life and driving off. He wished it would be that simple for him to escape his problems, but the nightmare he was stuck in was one of his own making and there was no running away from it._

________________________

"Steve, I don't know what to do," YN sobbed as she watched Bucky toss and turn on the bed in the throes of the nightmare. "I thought once we got him here to Wakanda that things would get better."

"You just have to let him ride it out," Steve said as he laid a hand on YN's shoulder. "It's torture to watch, but you have to let his subconscious works things out in its own way."

YN turned and buried her face into Steve's shoulder. "Will he ever be the man we knew before?"

Steve wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

He hated for YN to see him so broken and vulnerable, and he hadn't wanted to rely on her to get him through the worst of his nightmares, but she refused to take no for an answer. He shouldn't have been surprised that her love for him hadn't wavered once for almost a century, but a small voice inside of him warned him that he didn't deserve it. He'd been the reason why she'd ended up captured by Zola all those years ago and had been forced to suffer through endless decades alone. And what reward had she gotten for it? Being saddled with him and all of his demons. It wasn't fair, but she was too stubborn to see that she deserved better than him.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked as she handed him a glass of water and sat beside him on the bed.

She'd also grabbed a cool cloth from the bathroom and gently began wiping the sweat from his brow as he drank the water. This nightmare had seemed to last longer than the others, and nothing she'd done had been enough to bring him out of it. She wasn't stupid enough to lay a hand on him while he was deep within his own tortured subconscious, but she was usually able to rouse him with just the sound of her voice.

"I'm fine," he repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. "You don't have to keep worrying about me."

She knew he saw how much his words hurt her, but she kept her chin up. He was being a self-sacrificing idiot, but she was used to dealing with the type. She'd been putting up with Steve for far longer than Bucky, so she'd had years of practice beating reason into the skulls of hardheaded men.

"I love you, Bucky," she said as she watched his face expectantly. It was the first time she'd voiced the sentiment aloud since they'd been reunited and she wasn't sure how he'd react.

He shook his head. "I'm not that man anymore, YN."

She took his face in her hands and forced him to meet her gaze. Her throat was beginning to constrict with emotion, and tears were burning her eyes, but she was determined to keep herself together for his sake.

"You're James Buchanan Barnes," she told him as her eyes turned steely. "They tried to take that away from you, but you didn't let them."

"YN. . ."

She gave him a warning look and he closed his mouth with a huff. "You fought back, Bucky. Don't ever forget that when it mattered the most, you didn't let them win."

"But all those innocent people. . ."

"Their blood is on HYDRA's hands, not yours. You were simply the weapon they wielded, but it wasn't you." She let out a long breath and dropped her head for a moment. "I know you well enough to know that you'll probably never forgive yourself, but the truth of the matter is—there's nothing to forgive. It wasn't your choice, and neither Steve nor I will ever blame you for what they did to you."

Her arms came around him, and for a moment he selfishly allowed himself to enjoy the feel of her embrace. He'd dreamt of holding her again, so he allowed himself this one moment if only to see if his memories were anything like reality, but then he remembered that his dreams of her weren't always sunshine and roses. The one from which he'd just awoken had seen her blaming him for what he'd done to Howard and Maria Stark. The sensible part of himself knew it was his own guilt manifesting itself in his subconscious, but he could still see the look of horror and disappointment in her eyes when she'd told him the world was better off without him.

A knock sounded at the door, and YN reluctantly pulled away from him. Rising from the bed, she walked across the room just so she'd have a moment to collect herself.

"Good morning, Princess," YN said when she opened the door to find T'Challa's younger sister on the other side of the threshold.

"Shuri," she reminded YN with a dismissive wave of her hand. "My mother is the only one that calls me Princess, and that's only when she's cross with me."

YN smiled in spite of herself. It was impossible not to in the presence of the young woman. She was so full of life and exuberance that she instantly brightened every room she entered.

Shuri peeked over YN's shoulder and spotted Bucky. "How are you feeling, Sergeant Barnes? Sleeping well?"

"Not exactly," YN answered before Bucky was able to concoct a lie. "His nightmares are pretty intense."

YN motioned for Shuri to enter and the young woman smiled her thanks and grabbed a chair from the desk and pulled it over to sit beside Bucky. She twisted her arm and tapped one of the Kimoyo beads that encircled her wrist. A digital CT scan appeared before them and YN knew without asking that it was Bucky's scan from the previous day.

"I've been studying your brain scans, Sergeant Barnes," Shuri began.

"Bucky," he corrected softly.

She gave him a smile and nodded. "There's a possibility I can help with the nightmares, but it needs some work. However, I have an definite plan to remove the trigger words that HYDRA implanted, and I'm almost ready to implement it if you're willing."

Bucky's face lit up. "Are you serious?"

Shuri nodded solemnly as she made a section of the scan bigger. "I believe this area of your hippocampus is what HYDRA manipulated to brainwash you. I'll need a few more scans and some other tests you won't be familiar with before I can complete my analysis and finalize the plan, but. . ."

"You can remove them?" Bucky asked, interrupting her. "I'll finally be free of HYDRA?"

She gave him a warm smile as she turned to look at YN. "I'll do my best."

YN took Shuri's hand in hers. "We can't thank you enough for what you're doing. . ."

"It's nothing. The evil in the world has taken too many of our loved ones." She paused and glanced at Bucky before turning back to YN. "I'll do whatever I can to help balance the scales."

"And what about the rest of what HYDRA did?" Bucky asked hesitantly.

Shuri took a deep breath. "I could probably remove your memories of your time with them. . ."

"No," Bucky said with a shake of his head. "I've already been through that, and it doesn't work."

YN's heart ached as she thought of the torture he'd been subjected to for seventy years. HYDRA had stripped him of his memories time and time again, so it only made sense that he'd be resistant to the idea of voluntarily allowing Shuri to do the same—even if it meant the end of his nightly torment.

"I have another idea." Shuri waited to see if he was interested to hear it before she continued. When he nodded his head slightly, she began speaking again. "There might be a way to take those memories and move them to. . .I'm not sure how to phrase this. . .like a deep storage part of the brain. They'd still be there, and you'd be able to remember them if something triggered you, but they'd be at the back of your mind—so to speak—and it might let you rest a bit easier at night."

"You really think you can do that?" YN asked as hope welled up within her.

Bucky gave her a long look. "I won't lose them completely?"

"No," Shuri said with a shake of her head. "But like I said, I'm not sure if I can do it."

"Do you need time to work on it?" YN asked as she looked at Bucky to gauge his reaction.

"I think if I had a few weeks to really study Sergeant Barnes' brain, I could definitely do it." Shuri looked at Bucky. "We can do this however you want. I can remove the trigger words now and then work on the memories for a later procedure. . ."

"I'd rather only go through one procedure," Bucky said. "But it sounds like this is going to take you a while to figure out."

"What are you trying to say, Bucky?" YN asked hesitantly, scared of what his answer would be.

He gave YN a sorrowful look before turning back to Shuri. "I want to be free of HYDRA for good, but until you can make that a reality for me. . .do you have access to a cryogenic chamber?"

YN heard the sound of giggling and looked up to see a group of white-painted faces staring down at her and Bucky from a branch in the tree next to their little hut. She glanced over to see if Bucky had noticed the children, and she saw him trying to hide a smile. It had been so long since she'd seen that smile that it warmed her heart every time she happened to catch the slight lift to the corners of his lips.

If anyone had ever told her that she'd be living in a secret African country tending a small herd of goats with the love of life almost a century after they'd fallen in love, she'd have never believed it. Now she couldn't imagine her life any other way. She and Bucky had been through so much since they'd met just before the Second World War, and it seemed as though they'd finally found a semblance of peace in Wakanda.

YN had initially been resistant to the idea of Bucky willingly going back into cryo-freeze after his altercation with Tony in Siberia, but he'd been denied the opportunity to make his own choices by HYDRA for the majority of his life. She hated being separated from him, but it was the first choice he'd been able to make for himself and she didn't have the heart to fight him on it. 

Steve had wanted to stay in Wakanda with her while she waited for Shuri to finish her research, but YN knew their friends needed him more than she did. With a heavy heart, she sent him to save Sam, Wanda, Scott, and Clint from Secretary Ross' floating prison.

Shuri had invited her to join her in the lab everyday while she worked, so YN was able to learn more about how the Princess' genius mind worked. She was also able to check on Bucky herself, even if he had no idea that she'd sat by his cryo chamber and talked to him everyday.

By the time Shuri had figured out all the logistics of her plan, YN had been a nervous wreck. There were so many ways it could've gone wrong, but the young scientist was the smartest human being YN had ever met in her life, so she knew if anyone could do it, it would be Shuri.

For Bucky, no time had passed, but for YN, it had been the longest two weeks of her life. Bucky seemed hesitant to believe that it would actually work, but he was kind enough not to voice his doubts to the Princess. YN knew Bucky didn't want her there for the actual process, but she refused to leave his side at any point in time during the three days Shuri meticulously worked to rewire Bucky's brain to give him his freedom as well as his peace of mind.

For the first few weeks after the procedure, Shuri had insisted Bucky stay close to the city so she could monitor his brain function, but once she was positive that her procedure had worked, YN and Bucky had moved out of the city and into a small hut in the countryside. Bucky seemed to be more at peace away from the crowds of people, but he was desperate for some sense of purpose. 

When he'd gone missing one day, YN had been completely frantic. She'd wandered the countryside searching for him and she'd been shocked when she found him sitting in the middle of a field with a herd of goats grazing around him and a newly born kid sleeping in his lap. 

"What are you doing?" she'd asked as she sat down beside him and began absentmindedly petting the baby goat in his lap.

"They looked lonely."

She saw the lie for what it was, but she didn't call him out on it. He was gradually beginning to trust himself around her again, but she knew he was the one feeling a sense of loneliness and not the animals.

"It looks like you've made a friend," she observed.

"They're actually really sweet."

It was the first time she'd seen him with the easygoing smile he'd always seem to wear when they'd first met, and she'd known in that instant that she would do everything in her power to convince T'Challa to give him some goats to take care of while they were in exile.

Now as she watched him try to hide that beautiful smile from the Wakandan children that adored him, she realized that for the first time since she'd been captured by Zola, she felt a sense of peace as well. His nightmares were a thing of the past, and he'd even told her he loved her for the first time since they'd been reunited. 

She knew the world was still a volatile place and that Steve and their friends were in constant danger, so it was naïve to think that she and Bucky would be able to hide in Africa forever. But at least for the time being, she'd eke out every ounce of happiness she could with Bucky and the goats he'd adopted and cared for like children. A part of her knew this might be the only chance they'd ever get to have a normal life, and until the real world came calling again, she'd enjoy every second of it.

Waking up next to Bucky was something YN had always dreamt about, and now that she was living her dream everyday, she vowed that she'd never take it for granted. Their relationship was moving slower than it had the first time around, but she wasn't complaining. They'd both been through so much—had lived so many years apart—that they were practically strangers. There was still love between them, so they had a firm foundation to build upon, but it wasn't as easy as it had once been.

Bucky had refused the vibranium arm that Shuri had created for him, and while YN understood his reasons, it was still hard to get used to him only having one arm. Bucky never let it slow him down, though. He was still just as much of a hard worker as he had been before the war when he'd had two functioning arms. But it was still odd to only feel one arm wrapped around her when he'd pull her into his embrace.

Sensing that he was still asleep, she carefully rolled over so that she could look at him. All too often he was the first to wake, so she never got a chance to see him without the weight of the world pressing down on him. As she ran a finger along his cheek, she marveled at how young he still looked. She knew she hadn't aged any either, but there were times when she felt every day of her ninety-plus years. 

"I can't sleep when you're thinking so loudly," Bucky murmured as a smile spread across his face. He grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips for a kiss as his eyes slowly opened to gaze at her.

"I was just thinking about how handsome you were—for an old man," she teased.

"I'm not the only one that's old, doll."

She chuckled. "No, you're not."

He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him so that her head rested on his chest. "There are days when I still feel like a kid."

"Me too."

"But most days I feel like an old man."

She stacked her hands and rested her chin on them so she could look at him. "They say wisdom comes with age. Are you at least a wise old man?"

"I don't know about wisdom, but I feel like I have a sense of perspective that young men don't have." His eyes met hers. "Is that the same as wisdom?"

"I don't know what you mean."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to find the right way to voice his thoughts aloud. "I guess what I'm trying to say that I can accept that there are things in my life that I can't change. When I was younger I thought I had the power to forge my own path, but now I realize that I'm just along for the ride."

"You don't think you're forging your own path now?"

"I'm doing my best," he admitted before he slowly began shaking his head. "But I'm not naïve enough to think that we'll be able to stay here forever."

"I had the same thought the other day."

His eyes met hers again. "You can feel it, too? Something's coming that we won't be able to stop."

She nodded. "Something will always be coming, but it's up to us to decide if we want to help do anything about it." She sighed. "In all the years I've lived, I've had to learn to be content with what I've got at the moment. Right now we've got each other, but we don't know for how long."

"Those are some pretty wise words."

"Then maybe it's true that wisdom does come with age."

"Well, since you're so wise, how would you suggest we spend our time away from the real world."

She peeked up at him from under lashes as a sultry smile spread across her face. "I can think of a few things we could do. . ."

Her voice trailed off, but he knew exactly what she was talking about. He'd kept her at arm's length since they'd gotten to Wakanda, but with each day that passed, she was gradually breaking down the walls around his heart. He knew she was right about seizing the moments they had since they didn't know when the real world would come calling again, but he'd been scared. 

Now as he lay with her warm in his arms, he couldn't remember what he'd been scared of in the first place. Even after almost a century of being apart, she was still the same woman he'd fallen in love with. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve her love, but he knew he was tired of denying himself the luxury of enjoying it.

Making up his mind, he rolled them both so that she was lying under him. He saw the passion flaring in her eyes and he knew he'd made the right choice. Leaning down, he gently brushed his lips across hers. Her sigh of contentment was warm against his lips and he took their slight parting as an invitation to deepen the kiss.

When her hands began trailing up his chest and over his shoulders, he cursed himself for waiting so long. He'd wasted months wallowing in his own misery when the cure for all that ailed him could've been found in her embrace. Now that he saw the truth lying before him, he knew the road to his recovery would be that much shorter.

"Is something wrong?" Bucky asked Shuri as he stepped into her lab.

"Nothing's wrong, Sergeant Barnes." Shuri gave him a huge smile and walked across the room to look him over.

"Bucky," he corrected automatically. "Do you need my help with something?"

She watched him look around the room as if there was some task waiting for him to accomplish. "No, I asked you to come by because I have something for you."

"Oh." Bucky couldn't find the words to say anything else. The Princess hadn't asked to see him since she'd fixed his mind a few months prior. He was shocked that she'd even sent for him, and even more so that it was because she had something to give him. She and her brother had already given him and YN so much, he couldn't imagine what else the young girl could offer.

Shuri held out a Kimoyo bead bracelet. "This is for you."

Bucky shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Let me show you," Shuri said as stretched the bracelet and waited for him to slip his hand through. "Each of these beads has a different function." She tapped one of them. "This one will allow you to communicate with other people." She twisted the bracelet. "This one will allow you access to the internet."

"This is extremely generous," he began before she cut him off.

"I'm not finished." She gave him a chastising glare. "All of these are well and good, but it's this one that you'll love the most." 

She tapped the bead and Bucky was amazed to hear music from his past playing all around him.

"I took the liberty of researching the kind of music you would've liked before you went to war," she explained with a somber smile. "I thought it would be nice for you and YN to have a reminder of your life together before HYDRA tore it all apart."

"I don't know what to say. . ."

Shuri waved away his concerns. "Don't say anything. Just go home and dance with your love."

Bucky thanked her and turned to leave. He wasn't sure why the Princess had adopted him as her pet project, but she seemed to love nothing more than to find ways to bring him peace of mind. He knew she was right and that YN deserved a little more romance that he'd been giving her. Back when they'd first been dating, he'd gone all out to show her how much she meant to him, but he'd been lax on the romantic gestures since they'd reconnected in Wakanda.

Walking back to their hut, he tried to think of something he could do for her. He spotted a field of wildflowers and suddenly an idea came to him. YN was out in the fields with the goats, so he knew he had plenty of time to get his surprise ready. It took him about ten trips, but eventually he'd gathered enough flowers to fill their tiny hut and make it look like something out of a fairy tale.

He looked down at himself and realized that he was not only sweaty, but he probably didn't smell all that great either. Grabbing a towel, he headed toward the creek that ran along the backside of their little plot of land to take a quick dip.

After his bath, he went back to the hut and put on a pot of stew for dinner. It wasn't a fancy restaurant with linen tablecloths, but he knew YN would appreciate the gesture nonetheless. As the stew simmered over the low fire in the hearth, he began to straighten up their little home. He wasn't sure why it mattered, but he wanted this evening to be absolutely perfect.

"What's all this?" YN asked as she walked through the door to find Bucky setting their tiny table.

He suddenly felt nervous and began shifting from one foot to the other. "It's been a while since I've taken you on a date."

She smiled and walked over to frame his face with her hands. "It's lovely, but you know I don't need all that fancy. . ."

He grabbed both of her hands in his and brought them to his lips. "I wanted to do it."

"Then I'll shut up and enjoy the evening," she said as she leaned in to kiss him.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving," she said as she took a step back and scrunched up her nose. "But I smell like goats and I'd hate to ruin the mood. Let me go grab a quick bath and I'll be right back."

He'd anticipated her desire to get cleaned up, so he handed her the stack of clean clothes topped with a towel he'd had sitting out waiting for her. "I'll go ahead and dish up the stew so it'll be cool enough to eat once you get back."

She smiled and thanked him before heading back out to the creek. She wasn't sure what had gotten into him, but she wasn't about to complain. The grand romantic gesture was something he'd have done eighty years ago, and she could feel her heart soaring with glee as she allowed herself to imagine that he was finally letting go of his past so they could work on having a future together.

When she returned to the hut, she took a moment to stand in the doorway and admire what he'd done. Their home was as basic as they came, but he'd managed to turn it into something magical with just a few sprigs of wildflowers and a pot of homemade stew.

He held out her chair and helped her to sit before taking his own seat. "There's one more thing before we eat."

"Oh, yeah?"

Winking, he twisted the Kimoyo bead bracelet on his wrist and tapped one of the beads. Her eyes grew wide as she heard the sounds of Glenn Miller's trombone echoing through the room.

"It's. . ." The words died on her lips as tears began filling her eyes. "How?"

"Shuri."

She nodded in understanding. Of course he'd gotten the Kimoyo beads from the Princess. "I'll have to thank her the next time I see her."

"You like it?" Bucky asked hesitantly. "It's not too cheesy?"

Reaching across the table, she took his hand. "It's not cheesy at all—it's perfect." She paused for a moment before deciding to press her luck. "The stew can wait a little longer, right?"

He tilted his head as he studied her. "Probably. Why?"

"Dance with me."

A contented smile settled upon his features as he rose and offered her his hand. Pulling her into his embrace, they swayed to the music. Closing his eyes, he could almost imagine that they were back in 1940 at some club dancing the night away. But this was better, he realized. Now he didn't have to tell her goodbye at the end of the night.

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_Author's Note: Thank you for reading Day 256 of my writing challenge. I hope you enjoyed it! The fluff is strong with this one! What did you think of Bucky's idea for date-night? Isn't he just so romantic? And of course Shuri's going to be behind the scenes playing matchmaker! She knew exactly what was going to happen when she gave him those Kimoyo beads! I look forward to your comments, and if you enjoyed this story, please consider reblogging!_

"Your friends are back," YN told Bucky when she spotted the group of children sitting in the tree watching Bucky tend to the goats.

He looked over his shoulder as the kids began giggling and hiding their faces. "Why are they so fascinated with me?"

"They've most likely never seen a white man before," YN reasoned as she smiled up at the children and beckoned them to come down.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped and snapped his mouth closed again. "Huh. You're probably right."

The children gathered around and began chattering in their native tongue. YN had been trying to learn the language with Shuri's help, but the kids were speaking too fast for her to even attempt to translate.

"What are they saying?" Bucky asked.

She shook her head. "I can only make out a few words. They keep referring to your nickname—White Wolf."

Bucky looked down and saw an apple one of the goats had missed. Picking it up he tossed it in the air a few times to get the kids' attention. "You want to play?"

YN saw the confusion on their faces. "I don't think they understand." She jogged a few feet away and cupped her hands. "Toss it to me and maybe they'll see what you mean."

He lobbed the apple at her. She caught it and immediately tossed it back to Bucky. The kids began squealing in delight as they took positions around them and they began tossing the apple back and forth in some new type of game—making up the rules as they went.

She took herself out of the game so he could continue playing with the kids while she took care of the goats. It didn't bother her to give him a break every now and then. She loved seeing him with the kids since it brought the sweetest smile to his face.

Eventually one of them had looked up at the sun and decided that it was time to go. They all waved at her and Bucky before racing off over the hill to their home.

"I have an idea," Bucky said after they'd left.

"Yeah?"

He nodded toward a pile of old logs laying near the creek. "No one is using those for anything. You think anyone would mind if I made the kids a treehouse? I always wanted one as a kid, but there weren't a lot of trees in Brooklyn big enough for one." He looked up at the tree next to their hut. "I think this one would be, though. It's got some great branches that would hold the weight of the logs."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why do I get the feeling you're not going to be building this thing on your own."

He gestured to the empty space where his left arm should be. "I'm a little short-handed."

"Ha, ha," she said with a sardonic shake of her head. She looked up at the sky. "If we start now, we should have the base finished before dark."

It took them the rest of the day, but by the time the sun went down, the entire treehouse was finished. YN hadn't intended to have the whole thing completed in one day, but once she'd used Bucky's Kimoyo beads to contact Shuri for some supplies, they'd ended up with more lumber than they needed as well as a small army to help them get the task completed.

Bucky barely slept that night as excitement coursed through his veins. "You think they'll like it?"

"They'll love it," she told him as they walked outside the next morning to view their handiwork.

The kids showed up right on time, but instead of smiles, they all frowned up at the small structure in the tree they liked to climb.

"It's for you," YN tried to say in the Wakandan language, but she wasn't sure she'd said it correctly since they looked at her like she was crazy. She turned to Bucky. "You're just going to have to take them up there yourself."

"I can't fit in there," Bucky said as he eyed the treehouse. "Especially not with three kids."

"This was your idea, Buck." She shrugged and went off to see to the goats. 

Keeping one eye trained on Bucky and kids, she watched as he mimed going up the ladder. The kids weren't getting it, though. With a sigh, he walked over and began climbing up to the treehouse. Once he was at the top, he motioned for them to follow him.

Bucky ducked his head and duck-walked to the far corner to wait for the kids. He wasn't sure they were going to follow him, and he was about to go back after them when one white-painted face popped up in the doorway. He smiled and waved the child inside.

Once the kids saw the small table set up by the little window overlooking Bucky's hut, they were thrilled. Before he knew what was happening, he had three little boys piled up in his lap hugging him and chattering away. He assumed they were thanking him, so he just smiled and nodded.

They left him and went back to the window. One of them pointed to him and then to the goats.

"You want me to go to work?" he asked with a laugh. "I see how it is. Watching the one-armed white man tend to goats is your idea of entertainment."

He laughed as he crawled back to the door. As he turned himself around to climb back down the ladder, he knocked his head against one of the walls. The kids burst out laughing, but he just shook his head and headed back to YN and the goats.

He wasn't sure why it made him so happy that these kids wanted to be around him. A psychologist would probably tell him it had something to do with their innocent acceptance of him, but he liked to think it was because they reminded him of when he and Steve were kids. Life was simpler back then and he wanted these kids to enjoy every second of their childhood before the real world inevitably caught up to them.

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_Author's Note: Thank you for reading Day 278 of my writing challenge. I hope you enjoyed it! I don't know about you, but I love the little Wakandan children that sit in the tree watching Bucky work! The first time we saw them at the end of Black Panther made my heart sing! They weren't the least bit scared of him and it was just proved what we've known all along—Bucky Barnes is a good man. Did you like the treehouse he built for them? Were you surprised Shuri took over the project and had a group of people go out and help them get it done? Can't you just imagine Bucky trying to maneuver in the tiny space with only one arm? I look forward to your comments, and if you enjoyed this story, please consider reblogging!_

YN stared up at the ceiling of her home with Bucky as she lay awake in the middle of the night. Bucky had fallen asleep hours ago, but she couldn't get her mind to shut down and rest. She knew the exact reason why, but she wasn't sure if she should share her concerns with Bucky.

Steve had Skyped that afternoon and while it always brought a smile to Bucky's face, it made her nervous. 

And guilty.

She wasn't sure which emotion was the one keeping her awake at that particular moment since she went back and forth between the two. Her nervousness stemmed from the fear that Steve would ask for their help on some mission, and the guilt would always follow when she admitted to herself that she was relieved when he didn't.

Living in seclusion in Wakanda wasn't what heroes did, but while Steve and their friends were on Ross' bad side, Bucky resided at the top of the Most Wanted List. He couldn't risk being seen outside of Wakanda's borders and there was no way she was letting him out of her sight again.

She reasoned that she'd given over eighty years of her life in service to her country—the world could get by for a few years without her. But it still didn't keep her self-loathing thoughts at bay.

Bucky stirred beside her and she looked over to see if he'd awoken. A smile lifted the corners of her lips when she saw the contented expression on his face as he dreamed. It had been a while since a nightmare had plagued him, and she was glad his time away from the stresses of the world were helping him to heal.

Reaching out, she moved a lock of hair out of his face and laid her palm against his cheek. She could spend the rest of her life with him like this and never grow tired of feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her touch. She'd gone far too long without it and she'd be damned if anyone took that away from her.

His hand reached up to cup hers as his smile deepened. "Can't sleep?"

"I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered as she gently kissed him. "Go back to your dream."

"What do I need a dream for when I've got the real thing right here?"

"You were dreaming about me?" she asked, instantly curious to know more.

"I always dream of you," he admitted sleepily. "Even when I didn't know it was you, you were there."

Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"After," he mumbled as his eyes started to drift shut again. "After D.C., I dreamed of you. I didn't think you were real."

"You never told me that."

His eyes opened slowly as he let out a heavy sigh. "There are some days I still don't think you're real—that any of this is real."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm real, Bucky. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere—ever."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again," he murmured as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

At once, every ounce of guilt faded away. This was the proof she'd been looking for to convince herself that he needed her more than Steve ever would. Bucky's well-being trumped every other obligation in her life, and she'd stay by his side for as long as he needed her.

"You're not going to lose me," she assured him as she leaned up and kissed him. "I'm not going anywhere."

She'd kissed him as a way to ground him to the present, but her gesture of comfort soon morphed into one of passion. Hands began pulling at clothes as they each felt a desperate need to be as close to the other as possible.

Up until then, their lovemaking had been gentle and slow, but now they were almost ravenous for one another. YN knew this raw need was spurned from fear, but she felt the only way to cast their demons aside was to give in to the raging passion that was consuming them.

Bucky tried to remove his shirt, but the pins holding up the left sleeve got caught in his hair. Cursing himself for the awkwardness caused by his missing arm, Bucky began to grow frustrated as he fought with his clothing.

YN could sense his growing anger with himself, so she pushed him onto his back and straddled his thighs. She was worried he'd see this as yet another way he was lacking, but the burning desire in his eyes told her otherwise. Feeling a sense of boldness she'd never had before, she took the lead and finally allowed herself the pleasure of exploring his body in ways she'd only dreamed about.

She knew this night would be a tipping point for them in many ways, but she wasn't ready to deal with anything other than sating themselves. There would be plenty of time in the morning to talk about all the things they'd yet to share with one another. The night was meant for more carnal declarations, and she planned to explore every single one of them.

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_Author's Note: Thank you for reading Day 328 of my writing challenge. I hope you enjoyed it! I hadn't planned on including sexy times, but that's the turn this story took! Anyone complaining? I doubt it! They've come a long way since the shores of the Potomac, but they're still learning to trust one another again. I think they're making progress though, don't you? We only have one part left to this Miniseries, and I'm going to be sad to say goodbye to this one! I look forward to your comments, and if you enjoyed this story, please consider reblogging!_

Wakanda might not have celebrated Christmas, but that didn't mean Bucky Barnes was going to skip the holiday. As a kid growing up in Brooklyn, he and Steve had looked forward to Christmas more than any other holiday—and Steve had been born on the 4th of July.

There was something magical about Christmas that had always fascinated Bucky—even after he'd grown too old to still believe in Santa Claus. It was as though the whole world knew something special was happening and all of life's problems faded away amidst the joy of the season.

YN had spent a few Christmas holidays with Bucky before HYDRA, so she remembered how manic he'd get over decorations and gifts. When he'd explained the holiday to Shuri, she'd completely ignored the religious aspects and focused on the food and presents.

"We celebrate the Winter Solstice and how some great King of Wakanda had done something or other," Shuri explained with an epic roll of her eyes. "But your holiday sounds so much more fun. Is there really a fat man that travels around the world in a sleigh pulled by reindeer giving gifts to children?"

"It's a myth," YN said with a huff. "Christmas is supposed to be about more than gifts. It's about love and friendship and. . ."

"And giant trees covered in lights," Bucky finished for her. "They always put up a huge Norway Spruce in the middle of New York City every year." He reached for YN's hand. "I took YN there one year to go ice skating. It was our first Christmas together."

YN's heart warmed at the memory. It had been years since she'd thought of that night, but she was glad it was still a memory that Bucky held dear.

"We should have a Christmas celebration here," Shuri said.

"But you don't celebrate the holiday," YN protested. "I don't want you to go to any trouble to accommodate us. We can just get a little tree for our house. . ."

Shuri made a derisive sound and waved off YN's words. "Nonsense. It sounds like fun. I'll have my brother start working on the arrangements and you two can organize all the decorations." She clasped her hands together in glee. "We'll put up a tree outside the palace for everyone to enjoy and also one inside for the party we'll throw."

YN gave Bucky a worried look, but he just smiled and got swept away in the planning.

By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, YN was amazed. There was no snow like there would be in New York, but the Golden City was just as beautiful as Rockefeller Center with a giant Norway Spruce outside the palace. The lights from the enormous tree reflected off the river that wound its way through the heart of the city and made for a gorgeous scene.

The inside of the palace was adorned with sprigs of mistletoe and holly, and giant pine boughs wrapped around the banisters leading up to the main hall. The royal family had opened their home to the city and people had come out in their finest to experience the wonder of their guests' holiday tradition.

Since the temperatures were still in the high eighties, Shuri had built a synthetic fireplace to hang the stockings. The fire put out no heat, but still helped to set the scene for the party. YN had been shocked that Bucky wanted to attend with the huge crowds of people, but Christmas was a time for miracles and this seemed to be one of them. 

The tree inside was a great deal smaller than the one outside, but it was still close to twenty feet. There were multi-colored packages wrapped beneath the spruce and YN wondered if one of them belonged to her. She'd had Shuri illegally access some of the funds in her frozen bank accounts so she could purchase a few gifts, and she'd brought them by earlier in the week to place beneath the tree.

Bucky's young friends were almost unrecognizable without their white face paint, but they'd made a beeline for their new best friend as soon as they'd spotted him. He hadn't waited for the gift-giving portion of the evening that was supposed to follow the hors d'oeuvres and family dinner, but instead had gone straight to the tree to find the presents he'd made for the boys.

Shuri slipped YN a glass of champagne as they watched the three boys tear open the packages to reveal the tiny wooden goats Bucky had carved for them. YN wasn't sure who was more excited with the gifts—Bucky or the kids. She'd helped him carve the little figurines for weeks, so she knew how much love and devotion had gone into each one.

"He seems happier," Shuri observed as she took a sip of the bubbly wine.

"Christmas always makes him happy," she said with a shrug. "But, yeah, you're right. He's getting better."

"But you still worry."

YN turned to meet the Princess' gaze. "I'll always worry. He and I are. . .different." She nodded in T'Challa's direction. "But you understand that better than most."

"You can't hide forever."

"No," YN said as she shook her head. "No, we can't. But we can try to be as happy as possible until someone—or something—finds us."

Shuri looked around the room with all if its shiny green and red decorations. "These are the moments that make it all worth it, though."

YN nodded. "They really are. To some people its just a party, but for us, we know it's a celebration of the time we have with those we love, and those we might someday lose."

Bucky chose that moment to approach the two women. "Did you plan to stand under the mistletoe so I'd have to kiss you?"

YN and Shuri both looked up at the same time.

Shuri held up her hands and laughed as she hurried away. "I am not kissing you, Sergeant Barnes."

YN reached for the lapels of Bucky's dinner jacket and pulled him close to her as she planted her lips on his. "Don't mind if I do."

They pulled away with a smile and Bucky held out a small box to her.

She eyed it warily. "Presents are supposed to come later in the evening."

He shrugged and dipped his head. "I hate waiting."

"This better not be a wooden goat," she teased as she began pulling off the paper. When she saw the tiny black velvet box, her heart skipped a beat.

Seeing the shock in her eyes, he took the box from her and opened it. "I had Shuri make this for you. It's a Wakandan diamond set in vibranium" He took out the ring and slipped it onto her finger. "I should've done this years ago, but there was a war going on and I wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive."

"There's still a war going on," she reminded him as she stared down at the ring on her finger.

"There's always going to be a war," he said with a sardonic laugh. "That's what they don't tell you when you're young." He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to meet his gaze. "I've loved you for pretty much my entire life. Even when I didn't know you, I still loved you. I know you deserve better than me, so all I can promise you is that I'll do my best to be the kind of man that's worthy of your love."

Feeling the tears in her eyes about to fall, she placed a hand along his cheek. "James Buchanan Barnes, you're everything I've always wanted, and you're all I've ever need. Neither one of us is perfect, but that's what makes our love real—we understand the other's flaws and love each other in spite of them." She took a breath and smiled at him. "Now hurry up and ask me to marry you so I can say _yes_."

He laughed and pulled her close to him so he could whisper the only question that would ever matter. He knew life would never be easy, but as long as they had one another, they'd be able to make it through anything the world threw in their way.

** _~ The End ~_ **

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_Author's Note: Thank you for reading Day 335 of my writing challenge. I hope you enjoyed it! This was one of the first Miniseries I started with this challenge and it's one of the longest, so it holds a special place in my heart. Our two protagonists have come such a long way since I started this on the 7th of January! From the train in 1945 to Wakanda in 2017, it's been one hell of a journey. Did you enjoy the Christmas party? Can't you just see Shuri getting excited over something new and going all out? I'll be sad to say goodbye to these two, but I'm glad I ended it before Infinity War. I'm not sure what would've happened to them, but I'd like to think they were both caught up in the Snap since I don't think she could handle losing him again. As for after Endgame, I'd like to imagine that they continued fighting the good fight alongside Sam and lived a nice long, happy life together. What do you think? I look forward to your comments, and if you enjoyed this story, please consider reblogging!_


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